Our Daughter's Birth Story: First Time Mom, Unmedicated Birth Center Birth

Our firstborn daughter, Adalena Esther, arrived almost seven months ago! It has taken all of this time for me to process and write out my birth story. In some ways, I am still working through everything that happened during those 48 hours of pre-labor, labor, and then the immediate postpartum period. But, I wanted to share our story for those who have been asking about it! I do not have any regrets (except the castor oil) and I learned so much that I know I will use, Lord willing, for my next birth.

This story starts on May 2nd, 2022. I was 41 weeks and 5 days pregnant and 48 hours away from “timing out” of the birth center. Basically, this means that I would have had my care transferred to a doctor at the hospital instead of my midwives for safety reasons because my pregnancy had surpassed 42 weeks. Weeks 40-41+5 were grueling emotionally & physically. Every day was a mental struggle of hoping labor would start and then disappointment when it didn’t. Honestly, in some ways those weeks were harder than labor because nothing was happening and I was so frustrated and nervous that we’d time out of the birth center and the kind of birth we really wanted.

My last bump photo on the 2nd!

Anyway, on May 2nd we had an appointment with our midwife to check on baby girl since she was now past 41 weeks, and to try some last resort induction techniques to see if we could get labor started before Wednesday, May 4th.

The Monday before this (4/25) we had done a membrane sweep in an attempt to get labor going, but it hadn’t worked. I spent the week doing ALL. THE. THINGS. to help with her position and hopefully starting labor, but nothing worked. At the appointment on May 2nd, we had discussed trying a foley bulb, but after the midwife checked me, I was 2, almost 3 centimeters and so we decided to just try another membrane sweep, then I would take castor oil and use a breast pump to hopefully help start contractions.

After the membrane sweep, I felt some heavy cramping, but that had happened the week before so I wasn’t too hopeful. We left the birth center around 1:30pm and went on a hunt to find castor oil and the supplies for midwives brew (castor oil, apricot juice, lemon balm tea, and almond butter). Spoiler alert: these ingredients are REALLY hard to find. We spent almost an hour and a half driving around trying to find things and ended up with castor oil, mango juice, almond butter, and camomile tea. NOT the same as the true midwives brew. 😂 After the grocery store, we stopped and did some curb walking. I texted my AMAZING doula (more on her later- I love you, Annie!!) and updated her on the appointment and what we were planning to do for the rest of the day.

sooo much curb walking with my fam!

We got home around 3:00pm, and I very begrudgingly mixed up my faux midwives brew. I honestly didn’t want to try using castor oil, as it basically just irritates your digestive system enough to cause your uterus to contract as well (aka lots of time on the toilet 😬). I REALLY hate feeling nauseous and I didn’t want my labor to start that way but I was honestly also desperate and impatient! So, I blended all those yucky ingredients up and started drinking the smoothie. I had finished around two thirds of the drink when I started feeling nauseous. I went to the bathroom & tried to chew some gum to relive it but alas, it was not to be. I ended up throwing up alllll of the smoothie and all of my lunch. I hadn’t even lasted a half hour with it in my system. As soon as it was out, I instantly felt better, and I honestly felt relieved. I had tried the castor oil, and it didn’t work for me. I wouldn’t be feeling gross at the start of my labor!

After the castor oil incident, I set up the breast pump and did 5 minutes on and 5 minutes off for an hour as directed by my midwives. During this, I noticed my cramping getting a little more distinct and feeling a lot more how contractions had been described to me: more like a wave with a peak and then a fall. After I finished the hour pumping, we decided to go for a curb walk and I felt the “contractions” setting down back into occasional cramping.

We got back from the walk and I cycled through sitting on my birth ball and doing parts of the Miles circuit until around 9pm. I was still having fairly regular cramping, but I wouldn’t call them contractions. At 9, I got in bed and chatted with my sisters and Conner as they played a video game. I listened to a Christian Hypnobirthing track to help calm me down and get ready for bed. I fell asleep around 10:30 and woke up at 12:30 am hoping to still be feeling cramping/contractions. After staying awake long enough to feel a few mild ones and be sure they hadn’t stopped, I went back to sleep till 3am. At 3, I panicked that the cramps had stopped (they hadn’t) and then eventually fell asleep till 6:30am. I ate, and fell back asleep till around 8:30. It was now May 3rd. I had 24 hours to go into labor or I’d be transferring care.

I took a long shower trying to relax and kept feeling very light contractions. I smiled at each one and looked forward to the next once hoping it meant this was FINALLY it!

Around 9:30 I texted my midwife what I was feeling and she recommended doing another hour of the 5 minutes on, 5 minutes off with the breast pump. I texted my doula the plan and then sat down on my yoga ball and started pumping. After the first two cycles, I got up from the ball during a cramp and felt a little gush of liquid. I immediately thought I had just peed myself because it didn’t really feel like enough liquid to be my water breaking. But, I texted the midwife just to be safe and she gave me a few things to look for to tell if it was my water that had broken. I sat back down on the birth ball and did another 5 minutes of pumping. When I stood up after that, I felt a bigger gush of fluid and KNEW that my water had broken. I was excited, but also hesitant because I knew that just because your water breaks doesn’t mean that labor will immediately ramp up and get going.

Luckily, I was wrong. Within an hour, I felt a shift in my contractions. They got a little stronger and a little longer. Conner texted our doula and the midwife what was happening and then I settled in to focusing on labor.

I started using different coping techniques we had learned in our birth class: breathing, combs, and then ended up even sitting in the shower for a bit to help relax.

Conner had been texting back and forth with our doula, Annie, and as my contractions needed more and more attention, they decided he would text when we thought I was needing extra support. At 11:00am, Conner texted that we thought she should leave and she arrived around noon.

We’d been keeping the midwives up to date via text as well, and since my contractions were consistent and required focus, they decided that I should head to the birth center for my first dose of antibiotics since I had tested positive for GBS. If I wasn’t dilated enough for them to admit me (5cm) or not in clear active labor visually, they would just administer the antibiotics and then send me back home to continue laboring. When Conner explained that plan to me I was immediately nervous. The birth center was a solid 30 minute drive from our house! I didn’t want to deal with these contractions all the way there just to come all the way home! I started praying that I would be dilated enough and we got our stuff together and got in the car at 12:30pm. I paused a few times to get through a contraction, but they were 4-5 minutes apart and about a minute long each time. They still felt REALLY manageable using my coping techniques and I was concerned I wasn’t struggling enough to be in active labor.

In the car we put on worship music and I squeezed my combs and practiced my breathing through each contraction. I was thankful that sitting in the car wasn’t extremely uncomfortable and even got some relief for my back by putting on the seat warmer as we drove.

We got to the birth center at 1pm. My contractions had worsened a little bit over the half hour drive and I was anxious to get settled inside. But, since it was not an office hours day, there was no one there when we arrived! It took about 10 minutes before the nurse got there and let us in. Our doula got behind me in the car and did some acupressure point pressure on my neck/shoulders while we waited.

We finally got inside and started getting settled in.

Once we got inside the nurse started trying to get an IV In because I needed my first round of antibiotics for being GBS positive. I’ve never had anyone have issues getting blood or putting an IV in…so of course that happened for the first time while I was in labor! 😂 She finally was able to get the IV in my hand 🥴 & then did the first round of antibiotics. I stood and leaned on the dresser in our birthing room and had my doula do counter pressure while I labored through contractions.

After that round of antibiotics I asked to get in the shower. It was the most comfortable place for me so far & I wanted to feel the warm water. I ended up sitting on a birthing stool that had a yoga ball on top. Conner stood in the shower with me and sprayed me down with water when I was contracting. The nurse wanted me to try eating something, so I had a protein bar while still sitting in the shower. After about 30 minutes we got out of the shower and I moved to the bed. We put a yoga ball up on the bed and I lay over it to try to help the baby descend lower. Having my head tilted down made me super nauseous and I felt like I was going to throw up. Someone waved peppermint oil in front of my nose and that helped a little, but when I stood up I ran to the little bathroom and threw up a few times. Since I hadn’t eaten much, it was more like dry heaving but was still pretty uncomfortable since I HATE throwing up.

Sometime during all that, my midwives arrived. One was a fully licensed midwife & one was a nurse in training to be a midwife. When they saw I was throwing up, they asked if I wanted to get in the birth tub, thinking I might be in transition. I said yes and they started filling it with water. I labored standing up until it was time to get in.

It was around 3pm when I got in the tub. It was very relaxing but I could feel contractions getting stronger and stronger. I was also a little nervous about my heart rate but didn’t verbalize that to anyone. After about an hour in the tub, The student midwife noticed I was nervous and asked if I thought I was ready to push. I looked at her a little angrily…I didn’t want people asking me questions while I was in labor! This was all new to me, how was I supposed to know how I was feeling? She asked if I felt pressure…I said maybe.

After that they had me get out of the tub in case it was slowing labor down. The student midwife checked me and said I could start pushing if I felt ready. I said okay since I just wanted to know it was almost over!! Conner sat behind me and I sat on a birthing stool holding on to a rebozo. I pushed with each contraction but really couldn’t feel any progress. I remember thinking that if that was how I really had to push her out there was no way I was going to be able to do it. Looking back, I know that I was not truly ready to push!

The midwives encouraged me to move to the bed so that we could adjust pushing positions and try to help her come down even more. I laid on my side and propped my foot up on someone’s shoulder. But I still wasn’t making any progress after an hour of “pushing.”

Eventually, the licensed midwife checked me. After she checked me she said that I “had a little cervix left” which really meant that I was still only 7 centimeters dilated! I’m so thankful she didn’t tell me that because I would have wanted to quit right then! She said they wanted to give me a little Benadryl in my IV to help relax me. I had never heard of that…so I asked to go into the shower to think about it for a bit. While I sat in the shower again I felt my contractions intensify. My midwife had told me to stop pushing, so I was trying not to, but it sometimes felt like my body started trying to push on its own. Eventually, Conner & I decided that we’d do whatever the midwife recommended to get the baby out as fast as possible.

I got out of the shower and labored on my side with a peanut ball between my legs while the nurse prepped the IV. The peanut ball was by far the worst & hardest contractions I’d experienced so far. She hooked me up to the Benadryl and another dose of antibiotics and I stood up, grateful to get away from the peanut ball. The nurse and midwives went to have dinner while the IV was infused.

It was around 7pm & I was laboring at the dresser. Leaning over it and begging for counter pressure with each contraction. They were getting more and more intense, and it felt like I wasn’t having a break between them anymore. I remember saying to my doula, Annie, - I just don’t have a break anymore! My body was asking to push with each one but I was trying to stop it since the midwives had told me not to push anymore. Eventually, that urge got so strong I told Annie that the baby was going to come out while I was standing there without my care team!

My sister ran to get the midwives and they came back in. No one checked me. But the midwife in charge said that If my body told me to push, I should listen to it. I got on my hands and knees on the bed and started to lean into each pushing sensation during my contractions. Conner grabbed my hands from the other way and pulled/ held me up as I pushed. I remember just wanting to get through it so she’d be out and the pain would be gone!

After 20 minutes and a few roars, I felt the ring of fire! I was so excited & I knew I was close to the end! I said “so this is the ring of fire!” Everyone laughed and I kept pushing. I felt her head come out and then they told me to stop. Her hand was up by her face and the cord was around her neck.

Adalena Esther was born at 8:14pm! They freed her head and had me turn around and sit on the bed as she came out. The midwife passed her to me and then started rubbing her hard. She had aspirated meconium and they wanted her to start breathing and crying. I just remember saying “is she okay? Is she okay? Is she okay?” Over and over again. They assured me she was and after some thorough rubbing she started crying and looking rosy.

She laid on my chest for a while while we waited until the cord stopped pulsating, and then Conner cut it. I wanted my placenta to detach on its own, but it ended up taking an hour or so to detach.

At the 30 minute mark my midwives started trying to help it release faster. They were massaging my uterus and even tugging on the umbilical cord to try to speed the process. After almost an hour, they gave me a shot of pitocin and then I had to stand and push to finally deliver it. After what I'd just been through, it was super easy to push out a soft placenta! I do remember crying and just wanting my placenta to be out so I could enjoy my baby. I didn’t cry during labor, but I did cry in that final stage when my placenta was taking forever. I really didn’t want to have to be transferred to the hospital just for placenta issues! But it all turned out fine and Conner enjoyed some good bonding time with Adi.

After my placenta came out, I took a very short shower, changed clothes, and then settled into bed with Adi. The midwife identified that I had two small tears, and stitched them up. We tried to get Adalena to latch, but she didn’t really seem interested and when she did it was very uncomfortable (foreshadowing).

After a few hours, the nurse cleared us to go home! We got back to our house and bed around 2am on May 4th.

While her birth was not totally what I was hoping for, it taught me so many things! My biggest pieces of advice for Moms preparing for labor/delivery are:

• HIRE A DOULA if it’s your first birth OR you’re planning on trying for an unmedicated birth. My doula, Annie, was the best person at our birth. If you need a doula in St. Louis, HIRE HER! She’s www.tendercaredoulastl.com

• Take a childbirth class. I cannot stress this enough! We took a 6 week class and it prepared us for so much. We knew how birth worked and had lots of ways to cope with the pain of labor and birth. One great online class is Pain Free Birth by Karen Welton.

• You CAN do it. Your body is made to give birth and will in time. It will be hard and painful, but it is possible!

• Your body WILL tell you when it’s time for that baby to come out! I thought I wouldn’t know when I would need to push…I did know & so will you. Just be patient and trust your body & listen to it!

• Know that you are strong and successful no matter how your birth turns out. Praise the Lord for the RIGHT birth for you!

• If you plan on breastfeeding: Have a lactation consultant or IBCLC that you know and have met with ready to come assess your baby while they nurse! I wish I had established a relationship with an IBCLC before Adi got here, it would have made her feeding issues a LOT less daunting right from the start. If you're in the STL area, we really loved Abeille Speech and Feeding. I’m planning on doing a post ALL about our breastfeeding/tongue tie journey, so follow along if you're interested in that!

I hope you enjoyed reading our birth story! Comment below with your own birth story, or a piece of advice you have for new moms before labor/birth!